You Are Here

At times
You are here
Behind the curtain that frames this scene
Watching
On the brink of attachment
A reminder of that simple but still unmastered lesson.

Potato Salad Log

For reasons that cannot be adequately explained in a reasonable number of words, this posting will track the progress of four avid potato salad eaters over the next ten days.

I think that I would enjoy these books.

Melbourne to Alice Springs

Photos from the desert are posted here but the words were lost to laundry room negligence. I will re-construct them in Perth. Also lost are the words to Melbourne and Adelaide but the loss here is slight - Sarah's scandalous solution to the Canberra problem, the doomed strategy that sees Marek baking cakes and cooking gravy for the better part of a day, and notes on the paintings of John Brack.

Jason is offered silence and acknowedgement is equal measure. "It's been a long weekend," he excuses everyone.

Report: Three Cheers For The Australian Tabloid Media

Working tirelessly against daunting distance, Australia’s devoted tabloid media surpass all expectations in keeping the avid Britney Spears watcher informed. The importance of this work -- namely the complete and timely provision of pictures and accounts of the freshest indiscretions, car re-possessions, and Slurpee runs -- cannot be understated and I am not exaggerating when I say that this is done with world-class professionalism and style. Well done and keep it up!

I am hooked up on a camping trip to Uluru over Christmas so this may be my last day of posting for about a week or so. Merry Christmas!

Question 2

According to my recollection, which of these snacks contains coconut?

Value: 40 blerns plus 1 blern for each day the question remains unanswered.

Marek Will Be Here Soon

Yesterday, Marek learned the relative effectiveness of the following two pick-up lines:
* If I dance by myself, will you watch?
* I'm leaving soon, so you only have few minutes left to get my number.

Today, Marek learned that if a girl has to use the directory on her phone, then it is not her number that she is giving you.

The Start of Australia

It ends here - in Melbourne.

One can't hide from the present here -- every day one must build from scratch and then abandon. It's a bit like this…

Sydney is dirty, vital, and frantic. I spent the minimum time possible there - enough to set up my phone, top-up my Twinrix vaccination, and see Bondi Beach. I run into the Irish guy from my dorm in a Thai restaurant - we both having fled the room to escape the impossibly gloomy stories of an aging Kiwi who seems deeply saddened by the end of imperialism. At my spiritual peril, I trade advice on Las Vegas for advice on India.

At first, Canberra seems clean, mature and sure of itself but as is documented elsewhere it does not hold my fancy for long. The hostel proves to be a lousy place for sleeping. Doors make an impossible amount of noise on closing and the metal steps of the central staircase loudly announce any ascents or descents. In the middle of the night, the fire alarm goes off. The hostel is full of teenage field hockey players, the culprit surely among them in my opinion. They spill in droves on to the street while fire brigade arrives and investigates. Nick, the sort of Canadian that Toronto produces, makes an extensive photo record of the event. The next day, I visit the reasonably interesting National Gallery. As a bonus, it features a water gallery in a quiet basement corner that proves highly suitable for a nap. Sarah comes to Canberra for a wedding at which she will know only the bride.

Bateman's Bay proves to a good place to do nothing but bask in the sun. I hang out with two young British guys who are in a slow race to politely admit to one another that they would rather travel separately. In the town pub, I watch some hyped-up boxing event in two Australian boxers each pummel some polooka as a tune-up for their subsequent collision in February. The crowd loves one and hates the other. As I leave, I ask a tipsy local for the background story which he happily slurs. He then hops in the car and drives away.

Back in Canberra, my luck with the roommates is considerably worse. I share with two highly uncommunicative fellows, once of whom owns the most rancid towel in existence which airs near my bunk around the clock. I rent a bike and find that this seems to be an effective way to avoid flies as long as one keeps one's mouth closed.

Suddenly, nothing happens.

I save a day by flying to Melbourne.

There's no other way

The End of New Zealand

It ends here - in Melbourne.

The mask slips quickly when traveling alone. Stripped of the subsidies of structure and cronyism you are confronted by irrelevance. And you live a feast and famine cycle of frantic engagement and long silences that doesn't quickly come to terms with a sedentary social metabolism. But on both counts, you do adjust.

Things improve for Morrissey, so I move on before he becomes needy again. Dunedin is pleasant but unremarkable. I run into my volleyball team again and we talk about how great a coincidence this is. We do the same thing the next morning in another part of town.

While in Christchurch, I make a point of visiting Cathedral Square to see the Wizard of Christchurch. The wizard is former university professor who gives ladder-top public lectures on various topics. Apparently, he is particularly passionate on the topic of inverting the world map to put New Zealand on top where it rightfully belongs. If you are interested in learning more about the wizard, his web site in here. Judging by the number of broken links, the wizard hasn't yet mastered the web but the site is functional enough for you to consider and dismiss most of his ideas. I only catch the end of today's lecture, which is probably for the best.

I take the train up to Wellington and the boat back across the straight. The first of three one-day cricket matches between New Zealand and Australia is broadcast in the ferry lounge and some passengers seem to elect returning to Picton over tearing themselves away. Wellington is windy. It spend most of my time with a British guy who is trying to choose settling in Melbourne and returning to London. We hike up the peak on the west side of the city to get this view.

These words are my own

"I can't believe it." Sarah holds her head as she says it -- her voice laced with the dismay of someone now soberly seeing that a once proud and resolute guard had been eroded to the point of breach. "Canberra!"

Bateman's Bay

My bus to Bateman's Bay arrives early in the day -- too early for me to check into the hostel and start repayment on two nights of sleep debt so I wander around the town in a daze for a while.

Over here is a shopping centre. This shopping centre has stores. These stores have colourful exteriors and prominently displayed names. Donut King. Price Attack. Wombat.

It is easy to see why this place is called Bateman's Bay It is completely surrounded by water.

I sleep all afternoon.

More On Canberra

Canberra is full of flies.

Worse, it is filled with needy and persistent flies. I am familiar with the type of fly that will buzz an apology for crossing your path then drone off in search of something transparent with which to collide. The Canberra fly will follow you. It wants to be with you. On you it detects sweat or sunscreen or mocha frappuccino and it is willing to work to be around that. It's not good.

I buy the first available bus ticket for Bateman's Bay.

"Surprise guest performer? But your poster said Owen Campbell Band!"

The band doesn't trouble itself to show up, but Owen Campbell is amazing.

Canberra

I am currently in Canberra, having handed my passport over at the Chinese consulate. The Chinese embassy is an impressive building indeed. A picture is here - thanks Ian Lloyd, whoever you are! The office that processes visa applications is around the side. I didn’t know this at first and buzzed at the main gate. No answer. How rude.

Note that Canada’s embassy looks like the sort of place that you go to renew your driver’s license.

I can pick up my visa in five days. I found a web site that ranks the top attractions in Canberra. It includes a fitness center (#6), a paintball outfit (#15), and a quilting exhibition (#21).

Five days.

Report: Disappointment Looms For Australia Visitors

A survey of local arcades reveals the conspicuous absence of NBA Jam machines - a shortage that is sure to cloud if not spoil many vacations to the continent. Travellers will have to wait until returning home to before guiding Ron Harper to another dunk, finessing Scott Skiles to another assist, or positioning Clarence Weatherspoon for that next rebound. It is not clear when these delights will be available to Australian residents.

Cricket Update

I'm not sure that there are enough overs left for New Zealand to win this game.
"C'mon Styris, do something!"

Question 1

If you were here, what city would you be in?

Value: 26 blerns plus 1 blern for each day the question remains unanswered.

New Zealand Safety Tip

If you do come to New Zealand, be aware that there is significant risk that you will be crushed by falling ice while drowning in a tidal wave. For your safety, signs are posted where the danger is greatest.