Report: Three Cheers For The Australian Tabloid Media

Working tirelessly against daunting distance, Australia’s devoted tabloid media surpass all expectations in keeping the avid Britney Spears watcher informed. The importance of this work -- namely the complete and timely provision of pictures and accounts of the freshest indiscretions, car re-possessions, and Slurpee runs -- cannot be understated and I am not exaggerating when I say that this is done with world-class professionalism and style. Well done and keep it up!