Albany

Apparently Albany is the longest continuous settlement in Western Australia. I just learned this now as I sit down to write X days later. Unlike Busselton, they are not in your face with the trivialities there. Note that X is known but withheld from the reader as it is sufficiently large to create doubt on how well I could possibly recall that which I describe below.

Again, it’s good to have a car as the town’s attractions are scattered. Adrian arrives from Denmark that evening and pushes the pace of our agenda over the next two days.

We check out the whaling station that saw to the death of seven thousand whales. It has been closed for years, now killing nothing but visitors spirits. If you are find yourself faced with the task of dismembering a whale, I am happy to dispense my now expert-level advice. Before you start, be sure that you have one of these on hand.

The town jetty (of unremarkable length) is heavily touristed by pelicans. I find their appearance to be delightfully ridiculous. They seem to be able to detect this and usually stalk off in a huff. I was of two minds regarding whether to mock them here, but I ultimately realize that they are free to start their own blog dedicated to making fun of me. Sorry, Pinocchio!

Stony Hill offers some amazing views if you are willing to do a bit of scrambling. The Gap and the Natural Bridge are impressive too. All three serve as reminders that Australians aren’t the type to waste a lot of time choosing a name for something.

The highlight is Two Peoples Bay for obvious reasons.

My driving clearly makes Adrian nervous. Perhaps I spend too much time talking about my apprehension over roundabouts and my tendency to look the wrong way at intersections. It also doesn’t help that I turn on the wipers whenever I try to indicate the direction of a turn. He takes to carefully monitoring the match between the speedometer and the posted limits. It is probably good that at least one of us is doing that.

The hostel offers free cake and two-for-one beer coupons, both of which are fully subscribed.

Two Peoples Bay

Denmark to Albany

The next morning I double back to Walpole-Nornalup National Park, which is noted for its tree-top walk through the Valley of the Giants. Here, visitors can walk a suspended track through the tree canopy. I can’t say that I would call this Valley of the Giants. I have seen Dave Tuckey climb bigger trees to retrieve a Frisbee.

I move on to Albany, but not that Albany, which is presided over by this usually benevolent bird.

Margaret River to Denmark

Cape Leeuwin is the most south-westerly point in Australia. Someone has wisely built a lighthouse here to ensure that sailors have something to photograph as they pass. From land, it looks like this.

My drive that day takes me to Denmark, but not that Denmark. Denmark is a town of about two thousand and gets my vote for the hardest place in Australia to find a place that will serve you a drink. Fortunately, the hostel is lively.

Wayne is writing a novel about time travel but he can’t talk too much about it – you know, too dangerous. He sits in an easy chair in the centre of the common area and divides his attention in the same manner as an automatic sprinkler, telling increasingly outrageous tales. He gets Adrian highly concerned about the Category Eight cyclone that is approaching Broome, a mere two thousand kilometers north. To be fair, it is probably appropriate to equally distribute the blame for Adrian’s unnecessary distress.

Michael controls the television in the common room and chases Wayne out of the room with this selection.

I leave too.

I run into a Dutch cyclist. He shows me his bicycle, which is specially designed to be slower and require more effort than a conventional one. If you are interested, you can place your order at this web site. For five sacks of salt, they will send you one on the next galleon.

Andrew, you may be interested to know that I am now on my fourth pen.

Perth To Margaret River

The road to Margaret River leads through Bunbury and Busselton. At 1841 meters, Busselton boast the longest wooden jetty in the Southern Hemisphere. Strangley, I can find no record of a Northern Hemisphere town that feels the need to make the parallel claim.

Margaret River is known for producing wine and surf. The car allows me to stay in a hostel by the beach, ten kilometers from the town itself. The swell is good and surfers use every last moment in the day.

I see a bit of the surrounding area the next day. Mammoth Cave, south of town, contains fossils that are more than 35000 years old. I buy a ticket from one of them and have a look.

I meet Tim, a psychologist from Melbourne, in the hostel common area where is taking refuge from a row with his girlfriend. We sit together so that it is less obvious that we are each drinking a bottle of wine alone and he helps me with something that I am trying to write.

Chronic town, poster torn, reaping wheel.

Margaret River

Perth and Fremantle

The record of a week in Perth and Freo is the price of my lapse in writing notes. I remember a hostel so ghetto that I walked away from pre-paid nights, an Irish person that I could actually understand, and the Western Australia equivalent of a Mocha Frappuccino.

And I remember renting a car and driving south, which turned out to be the right thing to do...

Alice Springs

Alice Springs is where you wait for your transport to somewhere else. I have three days before my flight to Perth.

Most of our group checks into the same hostel. In the evening, the resident drinker emerges and schools Achim and Kevin in rapid succession. The nightlife proves to be better than I expected. That night, Achim passes out by the pool and wakes up covered by a blanket but without his shoes.

I try to see what sights exist - the Todd River seems a bit oversold - but televised cricket and beer garden capture most of the time.

Two gap-year kids in my dorm show me their recent video that demonstrates how remarkably soundly our still-snoring roommate sleeps.

My flight to Perth stops in at the Uluru airport, where Internet access costs eighteen dollars an hour.

Three crooked hearts. Swirls all around.

Uluru to Alice Springs

We rise early to see the sunrise at Uluru. Derek completes his slow but steady transformation from tour guide to school bus driver by dropping us off at the start of the trail around the rock offering some vague and ultimately insufficient statements on when and where he will pick us up.

That the stores open late the next morning is a reminder that it is Christmas. We hike Kings Canyon that afternoon. The trail starts with a steep climb but then eases into a remarkable landscape of steep cliffs, weathered sandstone, and stark vegetation. I make friends with this bird.

In the evening, Jen takes this picture of Kata Tjula.

Danger!

Uluru

Coober Pedy

Sorry about the silence. I am now rejuvenated. You see, I was juvenated, then I lost it, and now I am juvenated again.

The bus fan belt survives the drive from William Creek to Coober Pedy. My unpaid assistant Wikipedia describes Coober to the interested reader here. It’s remarkably cool underground, through this assessment is relative to the 50-degrees Celsius outside. Free wine improves the sunset. The sunset improves free wine.

We are up early the next morning. A long day of driving is salvaged by Sarah’s iPod. We arrive at Uluru in time to catch the sunset.

Update

The attentive reader (assuming that there are any left) might have noticed a bit of a lull in my posting. I have been in Perth for a week now and simply cannot account for the time. I intend to re-locate to Margaret River tomorrow. Perhaps the days will be harder to waste there...

Trip Statistics

Kilometres (www.mytrail.com): 22685
Countries: 2
Percentage of world land area represented by visited countries: 5.29%
Percentage of world population represented by visited countries: 0.37%

Feedback Summary

Here is a summary of the feedback that I have received over the past few weeks. I am currently compiling a response which I will post shortly.
* Write more about Natalie.
* Could you just send me an email if something interesting happens?
* Are those the Australian spellings of those words?
* I found photos just like yours on other Flickr accounts and the few photos that include you seem doctored. I don’t think that you are in Australia at all.
* You spend all day in the basement on the computer. Why can't you help your father around the house?
* Your blog is terrible. Noelle and I stopped reading long ago.
* Write more about Jellytussle.

And with your news, the night begins.

Adelaide to Alice Springs

Oppressed by the need to catch up, I offer the following sloppy partial summary of Adelaide to Alice Springs. Prospective complainers are reminded of the cost to them of reading – the value of their time not considered.

Our group is eight:
* Achim from Germany
* Connie and Ben from Melbourne
* Kevin and Jen from New York
* Sarah from Ottawa
* Tanja from Switzerland

Our guide is Derek.

Our first day is a lot of driving. We leave Adelaide and eventually paved roads as we reach the Flinders Ranges.

Kanyaka Settlement outlasted the under-prepared settlers who were offered free land here.

That night, we stay at a bunkhouse converted from an old tuberculosis recovery hospital. Derek breaks out the cricket gear. In cricket, it seems that hitting a ground ball to shortstop is worth four runs. I become disappointed with the sporting choices that I have made in my life.

The next day, we drop in on Talc Alf. If you do not have a web site dedicated to you, this may prove that you are now the only one.

When not carving some pretty impressive art from talc, Alf is pondering the origin of words. He described the origin of Australia, Canada, America, Germany, and Switzerland. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch any of these explanations as I was pondering the origin of the sandwich at that time. This other site gives an example of some of his research, though. Ben asked him about Argentina. Alf admitted that didn’t get too many visitors from Argentina and therefore had not worked that one out yet.

Alf wears a shirt that sports his version of the Australian flag. Just in case….

Down the road, this attraction consists of some pretty bizarre industrial art. I wasn’t too attentive to the details here either though I believe the sequence to be:
* hippie road trip
* desert bong-up
* government grant request
* parliamentary bong-up
* funded project

William Creek is billed as the smallest town in South Australia. Derek puts the population at less than twenty. We sleep outside for the first time.