Tongariro to Now

We hike out of Oturere Hut, braving the light rain and blowing sand to cross the undulating desert and down into the rainforest. Ewan catches us at lunch but after seeing this hut warden decides to stay a while. We press on. The forest ends and it is five hours of scrubland back to the village.

Our hosts that night in Ohakune are novice and eager to please. Our subsequent hosts in Wellington are experienced and not so inclined. Wellington is windy and vibrant and carries no timepiece.

We cross to the South Island. The ferry spaces people well but crams sheep like cattle. Andrew rides the Queen Charlotte Track in one day but it is no great feat as the human body is designed to cycle indefinitely.

Over three days, we drive from Picton to Franz Josef to Wanaka to Te Anau as Andrew’s iPod confesses the activities of Ray Smith and Japhy Ryder and Henry Morely and Warren Coughlin and the backdrop rotates through various combinations of clouds and hills and sheep and cows.

After a day in Te Anau, we drive the final leg to Milford Sound to board a two-day cruise. Words match up poorly with Milford Sound. Pictures do slightly better. Andrew rides the Milford Road back from the Homer Tunnel to Te Anau.

Suddenly, the hostel is awash with Americans. A nameless oaf bemoans the behavior of his fellow Americans abroad, and then boasts of past conquests and drinking prowess, and then vows to party like a monkey on arriving in the next town. A friendly group of exchange students returning from five months in Melbourne starts a volleyball game. Titus tells how he and his friends were rewarded for ignoring warnings about visiting Yemen. The nameless oaf goes to bed early. Andrew and I discuss whether he knows as little about himself as he lets on.

The next morning Andrew and I part ways. He stays to tackle the Kepler and Milford tracks and I catch a bus to Dunedin where I write this in a café and thereby catch up to the present.

In the background, Morrissey moans about some awkward moment.

Did You Know?

The Fox Glacier is known as Te Moeka o Tuawe to the Maori people but was renamed after politician Sir William Fox in 1872 by politician Sir William Fox.

Tongariro Northern Circuit - Day 2

The second day of the Tongariro Northern Circuit can be tackled as a day trip (the Tongariro Crossing) if you don’t mind a few bus rides. Many don’t, and despite an early start we are soon caught by the procession of these fresh, unencumbered walkers. There is no consensus among them on the conditions to expect – the paraders are as likely by dressed for volleyball as for mountaineering. The latter preparations prove the wiser. The track requires a five-hundred meter climb up a lava flow to a saddle. Periodically, the cold mist here lifts like a curtain and vast moonscape is revealed. Across the saddle is another long climb. The cold and wind are formidable – icicles form horizontally and sudden gusts re-locate unanchored feet. But it’s too cold to stop and too far to go back; despite my full attention to the question, there seems no alternative to taking the next step forward. It’s worth it in the end. As we reach the summit, the wind subsides and the clouds clear allowing clear views of the surrounding landscape. From the summit, the daytrippers branch off on a separate track. Our trail leads down another lava flow and through an alpine desert to the next hut.

Report: New Zealand Breathlessly Awaits Grey Cup Final

Anticipation of the Grey Cup final reached a fever pitch Saturday as CFL fans from Auckland to another part of Auckland count down the seconds until the start of the league's deciding game. About the city, boisterous revellers proudly sport the colours of the two finalists publicly declaring their support to either the plucky eastern squad or their remarkable western rival. Other fans, merely enthused by the spectacle of the great game itself, gleefully sport colours neutral with regard to the conflict making the city awash with a vibrant spectrum. The game, scheduled for Monday morning, is expected to draw a surge of traffic to the downtown core especially the business district.

New Zealand - Still So Much Too Learn...

I was about to conclude that New Zealand is a thoroughly modern and enlightened nation, but I just learned that they think that Santa lives in Lapland rather than Canada! What a country!

Good luck Clayton.

Report: Puffin New Mordor Overlord

Unverified reports claim that this puffin has overthrown the prevailing powers and is the new overlord of Mordor.

Tongariro Northern Circuit - Day 1

The Great Walks are a group of ten multi-day hikes maintained by the mighty Department of Conservation. The Tongariro Northern Circuit is a four-day hike that circles Mount Ngauruhoe, an active volcano that portrayed Mt. Doom in the recent Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hikers pay a nominal fee to use the first-come first-serve huts that feature bunks, stoves, and fresh water. You could read more about the Tongariro Northern Circuit here but the text is small and you will likely get a headache before you get too far.

The first day of the walk (to Mangatepopo Hut) is gentle and the favourable weather forgives our late start. The day is not free of drama, however. One of our fellow trampers cannot resist the lure of the volcano summit and sets off to scale it despite the lengthy posted round-trip time. His friends assure all that he is very fit and will have no trouble with the task, but their conviction fades as the darkness grows. By nine, they collect flashlights and form a search party; twenty minutes later, the hut warden and we join them. Naturally, he turns up immediately after the hut warden has been dispatched to issue a distress signal to park officials. He apologizes profusely to all who will listen with a polish that could only be achieved with years of practice.

Rugby - England vs. New Zealand Game Summary

The first spectacle occurs before the game even starts. The New Zealand starters have prepared a lip sync which they vigourously perform for their opponent and the crowd. Regardless of the game outcome, it will be impossible to say that they have not delivered an entertaining performance. Bravo and more of this showmanship, I say!

New Zealand wins the face-off and but the English have the early momentum. Using a dizzying array of line-outs and red rovers they push down the field. New Zealand is only saved when an English player carries the ball out of bounds at the end of the pitch. Play is stopped but England is awarded seven out of ten for their energetic efforts. These rugby judges are tough indeed. What more one would have to do to earn a full ten, I don't know.

Now it is New Zealand's turn and they too muster a mighty march. They take the neutral zone and leg-out the flanks -- for a moment they have England surrounded but spread too thin have to temporarily retreat. They wedge up and burst through the English formation, but the runner leaves the ball unattended on the pitch for a moment and English have respite. The judges are equally impressed, however. Seven out of ten as well! Tie game!

The game proceeds at this reckless pace for five-eighths of an hour. The ball is kicked and mauled with such ferocity that it is a wonder that it is still intact. The third and final quarter starts with two quick scores - England scores after a New Zealand striker is sent off for subordination and New Zealand replies with a quick double grubber. 20 to 16 in favour of New Zealand. The English press, but the New Zealand third line is simply too strong. The English, worn down by the game's great pace and by centuries of imperial administration duties, sag and New Zealand takes advantage. One final boomer in their column makes for a 23-16 final!

What a game! I started the evening as someone barely aware of this great sport. My eyes have been opened -- you can be sure that I won't be missing any rugby action from now on. If you were as ignorant as I with regard to this great game, educate yourself. You are missing out!

Top Musical Acts In New Zealand

Here are the current top musical acts in New Zealand based on my perception of radio play frequency.
* Kelly Clarkson
* Robbie Williams
* Nickelback

Here are the top acts based on my perception of nightclub play frequency.
* Bon Jovi
* Hammer
* Spice Girls

Paihia

The drive to Paihia is a four hours through we stretch it over a full day by failing to find the right highway out of Auckland and by paying a visit to Goat Island Marine Reserve.

On arrival, it is easy to see why our interim destination is called Goat Island. It is completely surrounded by water.

Goat Island Marine Reserve was set aside in the seventies by the New Zealand government as a marine research facility, though is it open to snorkellers. To get a close-up view of the rich aquatic life, visitors merely need a snorkel mask (available for hire), fins (available for hire), and immunity from hypothermia and the tag team of tidal force and sharp rocks (no advice offered). Unable to complete this checklist, our aspirations of snorkeling were dashed like the frozen bodies of so many of the site’s braver visitors.

Paihia is a beach town in the Bay of Islands and the lure here is kayaking the next day. There are a number of kayak rental operators advertised, though the small print on the brochures reveals only two distinct phone numbers. One of the operators tries to pass off a flutterboard as a ‘kayak suitable for a novice’ so we go with the other guy. I will post a link to Andrew’s kayaking photos once he has them up.

Grande Mocha Frappuccino Log

I will record all instances of Grande Mocha Frappuccino consumption under this post.

Auckland

The flight from Los Angeles to Auckland is thirteen hours. I must have slept, as I distinctly remember dreaming about an atrocious movie version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring either Johnny Depp or Michael Jackson as Willie Wonka. On arrival, Customs takes an intense and persistent interest in my hiking boots that cannot be justified by their close-up appeal.

I play caddy as Andrew sorts through his banking and insurance errands. I occasionally interrupt this to re-purchase things that I have discarded as unnecessary before leaving. Andrew is in the final stage of purchasing a car, so I tag along to the dealership where he is to pick it up. His contact is a localized version of a North American used car salesman. When the transaction is complete, he sends us on our way with instructions on how to find the nearest gas station such that we can address the pressing issue of the empty tank.

I am not in Auckland long enough to learn the city well – our plan has us departing for the Bay of Islands and it does not take long to become properly equipped. The city is a reasonable size but carefully designed to ensure that geographic features such as volcanic cones remain prominent. Mt Eden, near our hostel, is one of the largest of these and offers excellent views of the entire urban area if you can see over the cows.

The hut warden's thick German accent emerged from the darkness before he did. "It is not good." In the distance, the search party headlamps were now visible as the group started its return down the mountain track. "Three short, three long, three short. S.O.S. Save our souls." He strode for the radio in his office.

Complaint Log

Please append all complaints to this post. I will then be able to delete your unread complaints in a single operation.

Shaun, please append all of your comments (complaint or otherwise) to this post.

Report: Hope Blasts Itinerary

Vancouver - Shaun Hope sharply criticized the Victoria leg of this itinerary for omitting the Solutions War Room in Power Measurement's Rajpur office during a Monday visit to the area. Hope is a co-founder of the attraction, along with Nadeem Dharshi who was later dismissed from the project when his complete lack of familiarity with household tools was exposed. The Solutions War Room offers visitors a chance to view ancient wall drawings, a gallery of antique tables, and an extensive collection of long faces.

Itinerary Posted

I have posted my itinerary on mytrail.com. To check this out:
* go to www.mytrail.com
* enter username stanicelbow
* click the Enter button (no password is required)

Blog Troubles High-Ranking Officials

My blog has been censored by the Vancouver airport. This is the clearest sign yet that my ballooning influence is registering at the highest level of authority.

"Information contained within this site is deemed potentially unsuitable for access through this public Internet Access Terminal/Kiosk venue... The information on this site has been blocked"

Perhaps the Los Angeles regime will be more open minded...

Anonymous Comments Now Permitted!

Anonymous comments are now permitted (for those who can pass a letter recognition test). If only there was something on which to comment...